The Big Quotation

Cannilbalism

2006-03-21T15:48:00.000-08:00

Cannibals are not vegetarians. They are humanitarians.

-- Anon

These ferocious cannibals captured a poor missionary- he gave them his first taste of religion.

-- Anon

A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

-- Jack Benny (Attrib)

Meaningless Proverb

It never rains under a fat cow

Equality Has No Equivalents

2006-03-15T15:05:00.000-08:00

Inequality is as dear to the American heart as liberty itself.

-- W.D. Howells

All men are born equal, but quite a few eventually get over it.

-- Lord Mancroft

All animals are born equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

-- George Orwell. Animal Farm

Meaningless Proverb

There is many an old cook in an Irish stew.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied

Age Cannot Wither

2006-01-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

I prefer old age to the alternative.

-- Maurice Chevalier

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

--Robert Frost. US Poet

At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.

-- George Orwell

Meaningless Proverb of the Day

There is many a lost moment in an old calendar.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

Mine's a Pint

2006-01-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

Abstinence is a good thing but, it should always be practiced in moderation.

--Anon

Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devils Dictionary, 1911

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Joe E. Lewis

Meaningless Proverb

A deep well's waters flow not.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

Vice is Nice, but Sinner's a Winner

2006-01-10T15:29:00.000-08:00

Between two evils, I will always pick the one I have never tried before.

-- Mae West, Klondike Annie script, 1926.

Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?

--Jules Feiffer

Vice has its own reward.

Quentin Crisp, 1968

Meaningless Proverb

An early dawn will morning scorn.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

The Bowler's Holding, the Batsman's Willey

2006-01-09T12:51:00.000-08:00

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

-- Lord Maycroft

Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.

--George Mikes. How to be an Alien 1946.

Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organised loafing.

--William Temple. Archbishop of Canterbury 1926.

Meaniningless Proverb

Ill lit lamps lose light

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

ITTTTTTTT'SSSSSSS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

2005-12-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.

-- Anon

I love the Christmas-tide and yet,
I notice this, eachyear I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But I love the gifts I give.

-- Carolyn Wells

The first rule in buying Christmas presents is select something shiny. If the chosen object is of leather, the leather must look as if it has been well greased; if of silver, it must gleam with the light that was never on sea or land. This is because the the wariest person will often mistake shininess for expensiveness.

-- P.G.Wodehouse.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

I Think to Forget

2005-12-22T10:21:00.000-08:00

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

--Robert Frost

A rententive memory may be a good thing, but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness.

--Elbert Hubbard

Eric: My wife's got a terrible memory.

Ernie: Really?

Eric: Yes she never forgets a thing.

-- Morecambe and Wise

Meaningless Proverb of the Day

Door hinges on the right encourage the devil to bite.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

I Eat, Therefore I Spam

2005-12-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

--Joe .E . Lewis

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

-- Joan Rivers, on Elizabeth Taylor. (1983)

The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say ' When!'

-- P.G.Wodehouse, Very Good Jeeves, 1930.

Meaningless Proverb of the Day

A fat egg won't hatch.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

This Will Never Work

2005-12-20T13:47:00.000-08:00

Cynicism-the intellectual cripple's substitute for intelligence.

-- Russell Lynes

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

-- H.L.Menecken

A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

-- Oscar Wilde ( Lady Windermere's Fan)

Meaningless Proverb of the Day

Read at night awake with fright

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

Act and Actability

2005-12-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

-- Marlon Brando (attrib)

I never said all actors are cattle. What I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

-- Alfred Hitchcock (attrib)

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known involved one actor, unassisted.

-- Wilson Mizner (attrib)

Meaningless Proverb of the Day

Winds fair to light druids delight.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

Minute Minutes take Minutes

2005-12-17T09:52:00.000-08:00

Commitees

A group that take minutes and wastes hours.

--Anon

A group of the unfit appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

-- Carl. C. Byers

To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.

-- Robert Copeland

Meaningless Proverb of the Day

Flat feet make level walks.

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

The Late Quotator

2005-12-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

I've been on a calendar but never on time.

-- Marilyn Monroe

The trouble with being punctual is that there's nobody there to appreciate it.

--Harold Rome

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

--E.V.Lucas

Meaningless Proverb

Two bills don't make a duck talk wisely

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied.

Not Quite the Proverbial

2005-12-15T16:43:00.001-08:00

Meaningless Proverbs (New Statesman 1967-1983)

Sick yaks leave light tracks.

--P Clifton

One does not moisten a stamp with Niagara Falls.

--P.W.R Foot

No leg's too short to reach the ground.

-- Lyndon Irving

She only knows why knows wherefore.

--Jim Snell

He digs deepest who deepest digs.

--Roger Woddis

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

I would also like to carry on this tradition of meaningless proverbs and would like your attempts. Just post them in the comments and I will publish them. I will try to add one myself everyday, if none are supplied

2005-12-15T03:54:00.000-08:00

I have created this blog to bring you daily posts of apt quotes and comments on sex, life, the universe and everything else. Included shall be the words of film stars, racontuers, authors, politicians, rock stars and general smart-arses from around the world.

Although this is not particularly original my intention is to provide just three quotations on a given subject each day, that can be read easily and digested at leisure.

I will not blast you with a thousand quotes at once, that can blind the reader with quantity, but give a few apt quotations that hopefully can be used. Saving you the trouble of trawling books and vast websites looking for an appropiate quotation.

Please enjoy this blog,

Regards Alan Judd.

If Words be the Food of Love, Quote on.

2005-12-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.

--Maurice Chevalier 1955

Money cannot buy,
The fuel of love,
but is excellent kindling.

--W.H Auden

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

Our Green and Pleasant Lands

2005-12-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

How can anyone govern a nation that has 240 different types of cheese.

-- Charles de Gaulle

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.

-- Barry Humphries

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire. God wouldn't ever trust an Englishman in the dark.

-- Duncan Spaeth

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

The Walls have Words

2005-12-11T11:16:00.000-08:00

I hate graffiti.
I hate ALL Italian food!

--London 1981.

Alas, poor yorlik, I knew him backwards.

--Exeter 1984

If you feel strongly about graffiti,sign a partition.

--Manchester 1978

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

Do They Mean Me

2005-12-09T11:01:00.000-08:00

Coward invented the concept of cool. And if his face suggested an old boot, it was unquestionably hand-made.

--Kenneth Tynan, British critic on Noel Coward

If a swamp alligator could talk it would sound like Tennesee Williams.

-- Rex Reed

As usual there is a great woman behind every idiot.

-- John Lennon on Yoko

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

Fancy a Tipple

2005-12-08T15:39:00.000-08:00

After four martini's, my husband turns into a beast. And after the fifth, I pass out altogether.

--Anon

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

--Nancy Astor

A woman drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her.

-- W.C Fields (attrib)

If you have a funny or poignant quotation you would like to share just put it in comments and I will write it up and credit you.

How to Make Friends and Influence People

2005-12-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity.

---Anon

When they circumcised Herbert Samual, they threw away the wrong bit.

---David Lloyd George.

Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody.

---Don Pickles to Frank Sinatra(Attributed)

Laughter, Comedy and Fun

2005-12-04T07:08:00.000-08:00

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.

-- Will Rogers 1879-1935

To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter.

--Françoise Sagan 1935

One would be in less danger from the wiles of the stranger if one's own kin and kith were more fun to be with.

--Ogden Nash 1902-71

Oscar Wilde on Morals and Morality

2005-12-03T07:56:00.000-08:00

"A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralises is in variably plain."

-- Lady Windermere's Fan

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

-- The Critic As Artist

"Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes."

-- Lady Windermere's Fan

The Big Quotation

2005-12-03T07:25:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Big Quotation. This blog is dedicated to the wit and audacity of many of the worlds great writers, raconteurs, actors and just about anyone with a worthy quotation.
I will post new quotations every day on one or another subject so bookmark this blog and discover some of the worlds best quotations.

Famous Quotes from the Famous and Not So Famous

2005-12-03T07:23:00.000-08:00

I have created this blog to bring you daily posts of apt quotes and comments on sex, life, the universe and everything else. Included shall be the words of film stars, racontuers, authors, politicians, rock stars and general smart-arses from around the world.

Although this is not particularly original my intention is to provide just three quotations on a given subject each day, that can be read easily and digested at leisure. I will not blast you with a thousand quotes at once, that can blind the reader with quantity, but give a few apt quotations that hopefully can be used. Saving you the trouble of trawling books and vast websites looking for an appropiate quotation.

Please enjoy this blog,

Regards Alan Judd